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10000 bc reveiw

Posted by ian on April 4, 2008 – 1:44 am, @114

10,000BC PosterIm going to try my best to review this movie without swearing and calling it a steaming pile of monkey shit, and review it with an open mind so here it goes.

The film starts off on a mountain top with a band of gypos living in tents and chasing CG woolly mammoths. The rules of this band are that the first pikey to kill a CG mammoth wins a shitty spear thats looks about as deadly as a turd in a jar. The shitty spear makes this gypo the leader of the merry band of gypos. So anyway one of the pikeys kill a CG mammoth by accident and wins the turd in a jar and all his other pikey buddies hug him in a, way too merry for it to be straight, fashion. Then some arabs show up, kill some of the gypos and kipnap the rest. Luckily though our leader of gypos goes to save them. Whats follows is a shit adventure movie through horrible cg landscapes and all English speaking African tribes help our reluctant travelling mongoose.

Now that Ive described the amazing plot lets talk about the actors. There is nobody overly famous in this accept that guy who played the Islamic fundamentalist in True Lies. Other than him the acting is appaling especially out of our super gypsie. The main baddy has this really annoying fake joke voice that makes him sound like hes spent all his life deep throating cocks. There the only two characters you give a toss about so i wont bother talking about anyone else.

Special effects are like something from six years ago, i.e Shit. All the aninmals look like something out of Nintendos Animal Crossing and the land scapes are awful.

Ok thats it im sick of talking about this turd, so ill sum it up in a few words. Watch Apocalypto instaed and then don’t ever watch 10000 bc. Bad times.

I’ll Give one wibbly wobbly egg out of 5.

Ian Fenny

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  1. 1. Darran Said:

    Excellent review!

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